“I don’t think I’ll be celebrating Christmas this year,” I told my daughter early last week. “I just don’t feel up to it,” I added, thinking of the loss I experienced earlier this year.
“Oh, Mom,” she responded, “you say that every year and then you rush out at the last minute to do your shopping all at once.”
Do I? I wondered, and if I do, will I do it again this year? Maybe she’s right, I thought after I had a few moments to think about it. Then I heard a report on the radio that said White Christmas is the best selling single of all time. Really? I thought. Then why do I find it so depressing? And why doesn’t Christmas feel the way it used to feel?
And how did it used to feel?
When I was a child, Christmas was full of wonder.
But why. What made it so wonderful?
I didn’t say wonderful. I said it was filled with wonder.
Oh, really? Christmas was filled with wonder?
Okay, no. It wasn’t. I was.
Now that’s different. So where did it go? That feeling of wonder.
I grew up and started worrying about everything the way grown-ups do.
And children don’t?
No. They live in the present.
So that’s your answer. Find a way to live in the present.
Let me ask you this. If you don’t like White Christmas what song do you like?
Silent Night. Well you can have that again. Right now. This very moment. If only you could put your worries aside.
But how do I do that?
Sit down. Close your eyes, breathe deeply, and listen to the silence because all is calm and all is bright and every moment is sacred.